SHELBY SELLS FOR SCORPIO ISSUES

Daniela Yañez, gran amiga y feminista fuertona, escorpiona y divina, entrevistó a otra gran mujer, Shelby Sells; experta en sexualidad y relaciones, a través de una gestión que produjimos con el fin de transmitirles actualidad, educación e internet relacionado al sexo desde el otro hemisferio.

Acá esta el mail con las respuestas de Shelby, directo de la entrevista en inglés.

Daniela Yañez, great strong scorpio sun feminist interviewed another very driven, wise and welcoming woman through this series of interviews we’re producing to go over the language barrier when it comes to important current affairs regarding sex education and internet.

This is the Q&A exchange Daniela and Shelby had. Straight off the emails.

 

Hi Daniela,
Apologies for the late reply! There has been a lot on my plate. Here are my answers, let me know what you think :). I’m available whenever for the skype portion of the interview. These questions were fantastic! I really enjoyed answering them. Thank you so much again for involving me. I love what you do and what you stand for!
xx
For the introduction: please tell me what are you doing right now, what kind of work and your opinion about analog and digital photography and video, i love your work!!)
Thank you! That means so much to me. Right now I’m working on a short film for an art show that will open mid February in NYC at The Living Gallery Outpost. I’m also organizing my complete works (photos, videos, interviews, written articles), which is proving to be a lot more work than I had originally anticipated, but is completely necessary. There are a few other things in the mix, but I have to keep them on the hush! All of my work focuses around sexual liberation and the intersection of love, sex, relationships, and identity. I enjoy using different mediums to express myself. I am in school finishing my degree in Human Sexuality to become a certified sex therapist. 
 
I think analog and digital photography and video are both incredibly important in their own right. For instance, I’m terrible with digital cameras, but have friends who make magic using it as a tool. I’ve always been drawn to analog, it’s look, and what it represents. I’m an old school gal. I like the aspect of imperfection when using film. I want my work to look a little fucked up and messy, in a good way, if that makes sense? John Waters is a big inspiration if that helps. 
1. For the people that don’t know about your work just yet, please tell us how did you find your interest in sexuality, because now you are a well known sexologist. What’s was your approach or your take in this matter that motivate you to study it? please elaborate
I’ve always been interested in love, relationships, and sex. I’m a die hard romantic. It fascinates me to no end how the three can be intertwined. I began my career by interviewing friends and colleagues about their personal experiences dating in Los Angeles. I’ve interviewed almost 100 people now and they all have different answers, which keeps motivating me to learn and explore more. Because sex and love is customized to each individual there is no “right” or “wrong” way to approach these topics. We live in a world that is constantly growing, evolving, and changing, which is beautiful, but because of that, educators have to stay on their toes and curate their material accordingly. Like art, there are no rules in love and sex (okay well maybe a couple) but you get the idea. I’m drawn to the mystery of these subjects. 
2.  When you knew you wanted make a career in sexuality, what was the biggest struggle? did you experience reject of friends, family or people when you decided to be a sexologist? (i know you explain in perv on the go what is a sexologist and a sex educator, but it’s necessary to explain it for the latino audience)
There has definitely been some push-pull in my relationships from choosing this field. At first, my friends and family were put off by it, I feel like they thought it was pornographic, but when they realized I’m trying to help people their attitudes changed. Now they are very supportive. It has an odd effect on my dating life. The biggest struggle has been going back to school as an adult. Juggling that and working full-time is a lot, but it’s also the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s very rewarding. 
3. Now that 2018 its almost gone and 2019 is coming. What is the topic o topics that we need to be discussing or talking about sex today?
I think we need to take a long, hard look at how sex is influenced by our mental health and how sex influences our relationships. Most of the feedback I hear from people describing their sexual troubles is a lack of communication within the relationship (ie setting boundaries, expressing wants/needs, etc.) Also, we talk about sex in terms of the general population, but what about people who don’t fit into that demographic? What about people with disabilities? The elderly? The unidentifiable who are still managing to find their place on the sexual spectrum? I believe we need to start integrating the psychological aspects of sexuality with the physiological ones. 
4. You have interviewed sex workers for important magazines like Paper. How we remove the tabu about sex work? What we need to understand as a society?
Sex work is not a new concept; it literally dates back to 2400 BC. In today’s age, women are not allowed autonomy over their bodies (one could even argue their minds) and making sex work a “tabu” is a direct result of that. How dare women (or however you choose to identify) use what they’re given in order to generate business when men (the patriarchy/capitalist society) have been profiting from our bodies for centuries? It’s laughable really. What we need to understand as a society is that sex work is real work. Trust me, it’s not easy, and it’s definitely not a “last resort” kind of situation like most people make it out to be. People choose to be sex workers, just like people choose to sit at a desk all day plugging numbers. There should be a mutual respect for each profession. 
5. In our country the are many limits imposed on our sexuality, Actually in Chile, and in many countries latin america, abortion is illegal. How we make changes or educate in sex in a society who is not even prepare to admit that woman have sovereignty over their own bodys?
This is a difficult question. It’s hard to talk to someone who isn’t prepared to listen. I think the best way to approach these topics is by spreading education and awareness through any avenue we can. Knowledge is power. That is a fact. I’m learning that approach and delivery are also crucial aspects to educating and implementing change in society. Luckily, we have platforms like the internet and instagram that allow us to pass along information in a discreet yet informative way. Hopefully these tools will provide people who have no sovereignty over their own body some hope, help, and protection. 
6. In ScorpioIssues we have serious problems with censorship in Internet, especially in Instagram, we have lost 6 acc already and thousands of followers. And yes, we work with sexual content, but the material in IG was only erotic. It’s a buzz because is a very important place right now to show visual work. What do you think about this issue and how you think it could be fix? did you experience this kind of problems with your IG? How you can make a business of sex content? a lot of people that are sex workers and sex educators in Chile want to know.
I’ve had this problem as well. My account has been deleted 7 times. It’s very frustrating and discouraging, but obviously that is the point. They want to control our sexuality and our content. They say it’s to protect us, the youth especially, but I’ve had conversations with colleagues who would argue that instagram has turned into a host for child pornography. Anyone can find a teenagers IG and get off to their photos, but an artistic nude photo that is not meant to sexualize is cause for account suspension. Some food for thought. I agree that visuals are extremely important nowadays. Unfortunately, as users of the app, we have to “play the game” somewhat and formulate a new approach, even if that means drawing our audience to a third party site. My mom always used to tell me, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results. You have to switch it up. 
7. You interact with your audience in a very close way. How you see the biggest concerns that people have today about their own sexuality? how you responde to them? (like de hot topics in this postmodern capitalist world)
Thank you. I aim to use my platform as a space that embodies safety and intimacy. Concerns people struggle with seem to revolve around communication with their partners or wondering if their experience with sex is “normal” (ie I haven’t had sex in 9 months, is that normal?) I think most people are seeking comfort that they’re not alone in the world. I try to provide appropriate advice to my followers when I can. If I’m not able to directly address their concerns, I usually lead them to alternative resources that are available. Through so many conversations I’ve realized sometimes people just need to feel heard. Listening objectively, asking questions, and helping people arrive at their own conclusions is sometimes the best solution. 
8. What is sexual liberation now in the end of 2018? how it relates to affective responsability and selflove? (please elaborate about your interest in love, relationships and sex, sextimacy)
To me, sexual liberation is whatever you want it to be. It can mean showing your body on the internet, trying something new in bed by yourself or with a partner, or disassociating shame from sex. Sexual liberation is about being comfortable in your own skin. Owning your sexuality is a very powerful feeling. It usually leads to taking accountability in other areas in your life and is extremely helpful in relationships (ie practicing safe sex and promoting responsible communication). Sexual liberation is knowing yourself and your body so you can communicate your wants and needs to the people around you. Sexual liberation is an agent of self-love.
9. What is the key to have a full filling sexuality or sex life? (in my mind is taking of all the social pressure and be truthfull about your self. I love seeing to guys kissing for me, so what, love to know your opinion on this)
The key to having a fulfilling sex life is knowing yourself (honestly) and choosing your partners wisely. In my opinion, it starts with you. It’s important to know what turns you on and off. It’s also extremely important to know how your body operates. Do you respond better to gentle touch? Is the touch penetrative or focused more externally (clitoral)? Or is it a mix of both? Once you figure yourself out, then you should find a partner who respects you and your body and is willing to give you what you need (and vice versa). Selfish lovers need to be left in the past. Fulfilling sex has to do with participation and engagement. Consent and communication can really enhance sexual encounters. 
10. Tell your latino audience what ever you want. In complete freedom.
I love you and I hope I get to come visit and meet you one day! Thank you for supporting me in my work. If there is anything I can do to use my platform or privilege to gave back to you, please do not hesitate to reach out. We are in this together. 
 
Please tell us where  can we find your work! So we dont miss any of it.
 


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xx
Puedes encontrar la entrevista en español en pousta.com
To read this in spanish go to pousta.com